Thursday, 31 July 2014

HERCULES

Ah, another cash grab video for the Cinema Snob, that's the fifth one this year, what's wrong Brad is your wallet taking a beating from buying Jerrid some lube. Anyway onto the shitty video, and believe me this video is the perfect material if you ever want to go into a coma. First of all he's only doing the video because there's a new Hercules movie in the cinema, he even admits it like making money off someone else's property is something to be proud of, yeah I'm looking at you TGWTG and all let's players. He even show's clips from the two Hercules movies that were released this year, he wouldn't get away with this on YouTube, luckily on Blip you can get away with almost anything you want.
Mr Shit Eating Grin himself
And don't get me started on all those terrible jokes he made throughout the video, they were just not funny and the only people who would laugh at them would be brain dead idiots. I can't even believe he went with this script, he was probably watching the movie writing jokes and was like "yeah, this will be hilarious". Brad Jones is just a simple man who is "too caught up in his own unfunnyness to notice that he's not funny", now where did that Nostalgia Critic quote come from? Anyway, don't even watch this video unless you want to listen to unfunny jokes and an ego the size of Mount Fuji. Right after a funny video he jumps right back into the shit, that's the Cinema Snob for you. I won't even bother to post any of the comments because they're all a bunch of dickriders on the Cinema Snob's website, people are weird.

Tuesday, 29 July 2014

THE BABE RUTH STORY


This better not become a thing for the Cinema Snob, because he's really stretching out from what he usually reviews. Just look at his Wired and his Mommy Dearest video's, from watching years ago would you ever think a exploitation film reviewer would make a video on those movies?

Never mind about that, onto the actual video, and no I won't call them reviews because he doesn't do any reviewing in them. Though the second half of the video was funny, the first half was a real drag with jokes and references that go nowhere. Why would he even mention obscure stuff? Just to let you know they exist because that's the kind of guy Brad Jones is! The video clocks in at 33 minutes and boy is that long for a cinema snob video, it's only that long because he doesn't stop trying to crack jokes every god damn two seconds.
And there you have it, Brad Jones, the guy who makes fun of children
He even makes fun of some kid just because he thinks he looks funny, he says and I quote "somebody fix that kids face". The kind of comment you'd expect to come from someone who gets fucked by his butt buddy, Jerrid. Even though there was some legitimately funny jokes you can't take away that he made fun of a child, that and him making a video on something just to let you know it exists! Anyway if Brad really wanted a proper opinion on the movie he should have did  a cross over with that sports guy that appeared in that sci fi guys Rollerball review, does anyone besides me watch that guy?

Sunday, 20 July 2014

Nostalgia Critic: BloodRayne

I know this isn't a Cinema Snob or Spoony video but since both of them posted it on their sites, this gives me a reason to tear all of them a new one. Let's begin...
Ah, the perfect photo for the sex offender registry, get to it internet
It starts off like a normal Nostalgia Critic video, a bad comedy sketch that nobody finds funny, this lasts about 2 minutes before we get whatever the hell this is.
More like: l'entente tripler pas drĂ´le
The three of them talk a little about the movie before Linkara mentions that incident a couple of years ago, that he never went to Castleton, but we all know that he really means the whole rape threat incident that Spoony caused on twitter. Anyway onto the movie, they just talk their way through the movie in traditional TGWTG style poking at moments in the movie which they think are stupid. Here's an example:

In the movie Rayne get's her hand put into a bucket of water and it burns her, the "critics" poke at this moment and say how stupid it is and how Uwe Boll probably just made it up, this has in fact be taken from the actual video games and other video games such as Soul Reaver, the water could have also been blessed. This clearly shows that they haven't done there research and are just a bunch of bigots because it's a  "Boll" movie.
They are like this throughout the entire movie, they just pick at stuff and expect you to laugh because their chemistry together is so good, which in fact it's not because alone their unfunny but together they even unfunnier. Instead of critically analyzing the movie or just making actual funny jokes they just become one big mess of shit, though the only thing people say they do together is plugging each others butt holes, how did you think the writing process went.

Before the ad break Meatloaf appears and this was the worst part of the video because...well just look below and you'll understand.
I'm pretty sure that's what's left of their charity drives after they spend it all on themselves
I could spend all day writing this post but if you've already seen the video by now you'll understand why it sucks, there is so much more they got wrong about this movie and they act like it's the worst of the worst. Even though it's just an average campy movie, maybe they could see this if they could get past their own overblown ego's, it's not like there wasn't effort put into this movie because there was. It just takes a fan of the video games to notice, anyway watch the video and make up your own mind, I hope you come to the same conclusion that I have. I'd like to see them take on one of Boll's better movie's like Postal, Tunnel Rats, Far Cry, Rampage or Stoic. Because Boll did get better as his career went on.

Thursday, 17 July 2014

BRAZILIAN PLANET OF THE APES

Well almost two weeks went by without a review though luckily the Cinema Snob released a video, a boy was it the funniest video he's released in a long time. What much else can I say about it, it was short and funny, both of which are needed to make a video good. The only nuisance about the video is that he did it only because the new planet of the apes is in the cinema, and mentioning and showing clips from other apes movies...because he doesn't like them? Anyway go watch the video, make up your own mind and maybe you'll laugh.

Comments:

Hey look, a literal concerned viewer
Exactly, don't insult good movies
Agree with this but take out the man crying part because the video was funny but not that funny to make a man cry

Saturday, 5 July 2014

Wired

Sigh, it's another one of those video's where Brad only does it because it's controversial, just like his Mommy Dearest review. This "review" is a perfect example of Brad Jones' own stupidity and failure at properly reviewing a film, he clearly has a negative view of the film from before watching it as made clear in the video. He has this movie all backwards, he thinks it pissing all over John Belushi's life by just making a biopic about him even though it's giving the audience much more than just a lesson about drugs, something the cinema snob has trouble understand.

Just look at his approach to the movie, from the get go you know what he thinks of it though he just goes through the movie trying to make jokes, emphasis on the trying part. He just pokes at every aspect the film handles even though they've all got their part to play as part of the greater narrative, from the Cab driver to the morgue scene, there's no end of Brad's hatred of this film. He constantly mentions throughout the video that this or that could have been done to make the film better but it's just Brad's attempt at how he can make it better, by that logic should we take moments from other movies out just because we disagree with them. No, I didn't think so...
The Idiot himself
This movie gives the viewer a much clearer picture of the life Belushi lead, with scenes of comedy and remorse, the film achieves the perfect balance between the two. I though Brad would have liked this movie but I guess he's just jumping on the bandwagon of hating on a movie just because everyone else did. That's all I'm gonna say for now so please read this comment posted by "The Viewer":
A great comment left by some brave soul, this is how you review a movie. Brad Jones should learn from this
The end comment is just Golden, further encapsulating the already damaged Snob persona
Either this is Brad actual feelings on the film or he just plagiarized another guys review just like his Mommie dearest and Endless Love video's

That's it for now, let's see what other shit Brad  Jones farts out, it's been a pleasure as always.