Monday, 30 June 2014

Robot Wars

It's that season again, no not summer but the season of reviewing a specific movie because there's a similar movie playing in the theaters. Ah, you gotta love the smell of money faggery, oh wait that's just the shit the Cinema Snob calls a video.

He complains about the long intro sequence of music being played as the camera goes around the mech, shouldn't Brad like this since most movies don't do this anymore, not that he would remember anything he has said before. He also complains about a lot of stupid stuff in the movie just like I'm doing here, because it's funny to be...not funny. Seriously his jokes are as funny as a riff on the Room. He starts talking about Don Micheal Paul's (Drake, main character) career just to let you know what happened to him, is this a review on the actor or the movie?
Just to let you know this exists
He says a guy looks like Andrew McCarthy and no that guy looks nothing like him, just like his Captain Sisko joke where he said some random black guy looked like Sisko from DS9. It just goes to show that Brad references stuff better than the movie he is "reviewing" even though when doing a TGWTG review your not supposed to mention stuff better than the movie your reviewing. Even though don't play by their own rules. He also randomly references David Goyer just so he can take a jab at him having worked on some Puppet Master and demonic toys movies, just to let you know they exist.

He looks nothing like Captain Sisko
One of his biggest faults in the "review" is that he mistaken some Japanese guys for Chinese guys, this isn't the first time Snobs done this, don't American's just love mixing people up. It's not like both peoples are totally different and you can tell a Japanese person from a Chinese person but to Brad Jones they all look alike. Another fact further compounding his stupidity is that they do Kendo in the movie, a Japanese sport, even the average person probably knows this if they can spot Japan on the map.
Totally Chinese guys
Anyway, a below average review only watchable because of it being from the 90's. If I really wanted to see a review of this film I would wait until That Sci-fi guy does it. Now a look at some comments:

We all know Blip is shit but how can they make money
That's just Brad being an idiot again
Probably because Brad is just a poser just like most of those on TGWTG


Thursday, 19 June 2014

The Stepfather

Now we won't be right back
 He starts if off with saying that the video isn't in 3D, funny because the last one was, my sides are just splitting. Seriously what is wrong with him "reviewing" movie's that are getting remaked, oh wait people google searching the new one may come across his video talking about the old one, I just answered my own question because it's just that simple to see Brad Jones' motivations, money.


He makes a reference to Halloween since there's a street that looks like one from the movie (how many streets in the USA look like this), inserts music over scenes with different music because that's always hilarious. Just look at how he handles the "review", trying to crack jokes ever two seconds to get the stupid internet monkeys to watch his videos, it's not even funny just annoying since all the way throughout the video you've gotta listen to him drone on about the movie. It's just sad to see him mimic a scene from the movie, it just shows how bad of an actor he his.
He shamelessly references and shows clip from one of his shitty home movies, generally this is stuff you show your close friends but the Cinema Snob shows it to the world...thinking he's the Angry Video Game Nerd. He isn't him but he's just as sad and pathetic and AVGN, anyway the video is only watchable because of the movie he's talking about since it's interesting unlike Snob's actual episodes, C Thomas Howell called and wants you to remove your shitty cosplay show. Anyway let's have a look at what comments people have posted:

More like a Razzie
No it was poorly acted and terrible
What's wrong with you, the acting was great, what movie were you watching
We know it's you Brad

Verdict: Only watch it for the interesting parts, not for Snob himself.

Sunday, 15 June 2014

Friday the 13th, Part 3: 3D

Again, reviewing another movie from a very popular slasher movie franchise, is there nothing this guy would do to gain more ad revenue, besides from blowing guys at a gas station. Anyway, before you even attempt to watch this video be warned that it's in 3D, the same format that lot's of people hate. It would have been different if the Cinema Snob put out a 2D version of the episode also but he didn't, probably because he would have to correct himself which is something he can't do because it he did he would have to admit to his own faults.
Him being drug friendly proves this
Now onto the actual video, it's half an hour long and boy does it drag, the only good thing about the video is the clips from the movie's themselves since they're always for more entertaining than anything Brad has done. Just like his "reviews" of Mommie Dearest and Endless Love where he just used the movies popularity to boost his video even though he didn't bring anything new to the table when "reviewing" them, just plagiarized other peoples reviews to form his own just like all the other hacks on TGWTG.
I'm looking at you Linkara, the very definition of fudge packer
Throughout the video he makes all his usual stupid jokes about people's names even though all he's doing is just replicating the MST3K formula, they probably let him do it since he's cleaned their dicks out a good thousand times. He keeps copying scenes from the movie by throwing stuff at the screen because you know 3D, now wasn't that just hilarious. At one point he even starts smoking some drugs, probably to relieve himself of the ass pummeling that Jerrid gave him, but how could he have done that when Snob already ripped him dick off? He just talks a load of stupid when he opens his mouth, that's probably why it's half an hour long, if he actually put effort into making his video's he wouldn't have so many problems with his fans.
Seriously what is wrong with people and his cat, just because Brad fucks it doesn't mean you have to
He even wears a fake pair of boobs during the video probably thinking someone's gonna jerk off watching it, also get a load of him selling out to Gatorade (product placement much). Throughout the video he doesn't even mention all the creative kills that happen nor does he even state his likes and dislikes about the film, a little inconclusive don't you think?
Disgusting
Weirdly enough, every time someone says anything negative in any video Snob always puts dickish comments in his video's just to annoy fellow viewers because as we always know everyone takes his word over that of others. Just look at these comments below from user Lin , they are always answering for Brad instead of letting him answer for himself, but he'll never do that unless he wins in the comments section. Actually now that I think about it, probably is Brad Jones, he has been known to post under other usernames since he himself can't handle criticism.
I'd recommend skipping any Snob video
Notice how Lin responds for Snob alot
That's because user Lin is Brad Jones
Must be time for Brad to give you a mouthful again, if you know what I mean
Way to be a literal dick Mr. Jones
Nope Snob, you sir are a dick and always will be, even though you probably don't have one.

Maybe next time this chicken molester will put out a decent video.

Thursday, 12 June 2014

Jurassic Park is back online

Deep in the depths of space, a crack appears in the fabric of reality and out of that crack appears not Samuel L. Jackson...but the Cinema Snob Sucks Blog? Anyway I'm back baby, and this calls for a gratuitous inserted clip.  
 I'm sorry but I had to, I just couldn't help myself.

Anyway since the blog will be starting back up I guess I'll post a little bit about what has happened since...uhm Jew Wario's death, uhm...next topic. And that's how me, the Archfiend and the Irate Gamer took down Goldman Sachs, oh wait I got ahead of myself. Ahem, since that event the Cinema Snob has been down in the dumps releasing shitty video's constantly but started to get better when Sasquatch week started with great video's that were all well written and entertaining, but as we all know good things must come to an end...just like all internet reviewers...they eventually suck. Just like how right after Sasquatch week ended he went right back into making shitty video's, and seriously does he have to make a midnight screening for every film released? But we all know what his response would be, "All of them, no just 90 percent". (Insert cackling hyena rolling around in it's feces here)