Tuesday, 30 December 2014

DVD-R Hell: "Christmas Comes to Pac-Land"


Now isn't this just what you want to watch on Christmas Eve, while some of you sad fucks might have actually watched this video during that time. Some of you should stop checking up on sites you visit and just enjoy the holidays, or whatever misogyny your probably up to. We all know the Cinema Snobs fans are predominately bald middle aged men or man children who don't have lives. I mean seriously who the hell watches online video's during Christmas eve or day, unless you've got nothing to do or you have a hard on for Brad. Most people fall into the latter category. Anyway onto the video, or what little I can say about it.

For the first couple of minutes he just spouts all the information from it's Wikipedia page, then he proceeds to pull the asshole out of drugs jokes throughout the entire things. He does it so much that it's just painful to hear, and he doesn't shut up at all, it's just him running his mouth in the entire video as if people are jacking off to every words he says. But who cares anyway, he's just a moron with a receding hairline and a shit eating grin that would give Spoony One a run for his money. He ends the video by saying merry Christmas as if we should be grateful, fuck this shit. Put out an actual video that requires effort for once you lazy bum.

Oh, for fucks sake, get a life!
Stop being retarded, do you even know what an anime is? And it's pronounced on-a-mei, say it right or you'll upset Jillian.

Friday, 26 December 2014

Snob Riffs! "A Visit to Santa"

Another one of these, he must keep doing these because he believes that he'll one day be as unfunny as Mystery Science Theater 3000, oh wait he is. He makes a lot of shitty jokes, from Jimmy Savile pedophilia jokes to dick jokes, a lot of dick jokes. What were you expecting actual effort? No, all you get here is bad improv from the guy who watches porn for a living. And the comments are even more sad than the actual video, just look at everyone role playing in the comments, it's pathetic really...

Now that's just sad, but we all know it's Snob and his multiple personalities.

Tuesday, 23 December 2014

Team Snob Is Now on Patreon!


Well I knew he would do it sooner or later as he probably noticed how everybody else but him were jumping on the bandwagon earning thousands of dollars plus what ad revenue they get. Must be nice being a free loader while good honest people have to actually work for a living, what's wrong Brad is flipping burger's too taxing for you? I'm pretty sure if you looked up the word faggot and Jew you would find a picture of Brad Jones.

Creating a Patreon in the month of December is kinda odd, mainly because recently they were selling that stupid oil painting and it's Christmas time, did Brad think that people will donate more since it's the holidays? But we all really know he's just using this money to help pay for his living expenses, as of 23/12/2014 he is getting 2000 dollars which is Linkara levels. Maybe that's why he was circle jerking in the comments section, also notice how Brad said that most of the money will go towards the other members of Team Snob even though he's probably just paying for their cinema tickets and pocketing the rest for himself. But anyway, what do you, the avid readers think he's using the money for? Probably a fleshlight if you ask me, after all Jillian did leave him...oops.

Let's see what colorful comments were posted:

That's probably the real reason he needs the money.

I see the fanboys are active as usual.
Yes, Brad is equal to George Lucas, except George Lucas isn't a pedophile.
The donations are used to feed his fat face, what do you think he uses it for?
Right from the mouth of Team Snob themselves.

Sunday, 21 December 2014

The Top 10 Cinema Snob Moments of 2014

Brad, noticing his receding hairline
The bald bastard does it again, no, not Lex Luther but Brad Jones. This video is terrible and it's for one reason outside of the stupid choices, it's because it's a god damn clip show. It's like watching a terrible Star Gate episode, or a Star Trek episode for that matter. He should have just put the list in the video description to save us from actually watching this crap, I mean seriously this video only serves to showcase all the shit he thinks that made the show what it is even though it's the complete opposite. Though he did say he'll do Italian horror films next year but that's next year, he should have done a variety this year instead of doing what's popular. He's gone so far from his roots and I guess the receding hairline shows this, anyway let's see what stupid comments we can find.

It better be!

Probably because it's not the first time for Brad...

If you find that guy funny then you've got no sense of humor.

Sunday, 14 December 2014

Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation

Well this was another review that I kinda liked, mainly because it's a 90's movie and it's got Clint Howard, he's played lot's of roles over the years and he was in the Fist of the North Star live action. With that out of the way, let's talk about Brad's video on this movie. First of all he just does the usual TGWTG and he didn't even attempt to talk about the movie's production of anything, because we don't want to learn anything about this movie, we're just here for shit's and giggles. Even though event's happen in the movie he doesn't even attempt to explain what's happening, you'll learn more from the Wikipedia page than this video. Even though the movie clearly has a theme going on, he doesn't seem willing to talk about it because he's lazy.

Whatever, like Brad even know's what he's doing with the site anymore, and fat grandma wasn't funny to begin with, it's just and excuse for Linkara to dress in drag when he isn't getting screwed in the ass by Iron Liz. Also get a load of him trying to sell that oil painting on Ebay, good luck on finding a buyer you broke sack of shit. We all know he just plagiarized the movies IMDB reviews section anyway, as usual.


Comments:

I think we know what Brad's fetish is.
No...no you wouldn't.
Linkara "Lurker" as usual checking up on his butt buddies sites.
He's always awful, he also dresses in a power rangers outfit and is a furry, Brad probably is too.


Saturday, 6 December 2014

Foreskin Gump


Ah, he's been teasing this one for a long time, 2 years ago in 2012 he teased it to be precise. When are we gonna get the identical, two years from now. Though he jokes that he forgot about it, that's probably the real reason. He just talks his way through the movie making jokes and they are funny, props to the Michelle Rodriguez and resident evil reference. Seems that he put effort into this review and it payed off, hopefully he'll do the same for his next review.

Verdict: Good

Comments:

Exactly, do more of that guys work, Bevis and Butthead anyone?
One comment of worth, uhm...okay.

Monday, 1 December 2014

Midnight Screenings: "Penguins of Madagascar" and "Horrible Bosses 2"


Penguins of Madagascar


It's two adults who went to see a children's movie, for 25 minute's two grown men talk about a children's movie. There is either something wrong with these people both mentally and physically because there's got to be something wrong with you if you went to see this movie consensually as an adult. There acting like two paedophiles, going to see a children's movie in the middle of the night and the worst thing about it is that they enjoyed it immensely. Prepare the lube and toilet paper because Brad and a neckbeard and coming to a cinema near you so watch out encase they cry to touch you. I wonder what the people at the cinema thought of this because they must have been shocked at them waltzing into the cinema and wanting to see Penguins of Madagascar, quickly someone call child services.

I'll update the post when I've watched the other video.

Horrible Bosses 2



Man, these guys are boring to listen to, all they do is talk about the film and that's about it, not even an attempt to lighten up the video. And I can't believe how attentive the both of them are to each other's dialog, it's just weird because Brad gives the neck beard weird looks throughout the video as if he's undressing him with his eyes. All they do is compare it to ruthless people, judge it as it is and stop comparing it, your doing it wrong. And then there talk about the bang where an air attendant asked them do the watch the bang, I'm sure there's a joke there somewhere. He mentions that Jerrid watched it when he "lived above him" which is probably code for ass rape. And then they really run the next joke into the ground because there's idiots, keith come or whatever and something about walking dead. What a bunch of idiots.



Thursday, 27 November 2014

Turkish First Blood

Well at least it's not another popular movie, it's about time he got back to doing these old movies. And at least he attempted to make this video funny, it's way better than last weeks video but still average, but at least it did have some good laughs. I'll keep this short since there's not much really to say, because it really doesn't rub you the wrong way and it basically harmless. He does his best to make a good video but it's probably the content that he's doing a video on that makes the video average, though if he took the time to actually watch his video's I'm sure he could edit the video down a bit and make the pacing better. Because he does run the Kalkavan Video and the Ed Glaser jokes out and he really should have thought it out a bit more, I mean it's not like he does anything else other than dedicating himself to the whole Snob thing and the website. That's pretty sad once you think about it, anyway enough talking and watch the video and make up your own mind.

Oh, go screw yourself. This better not become the meme for the site's hive mind.

I understood that reference.

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Black Rage

This video is just lame all over, he's just making terrible jokes while telling you what's happening. It's so lame that it even put me to sleep, that's how uninteresting he made this video, he could have actually did a proper review that a professional would do but instead you get a complete borefest. It was even worse than those midnight screenings that he does, why are you still here. Do you actually want me to bullet point how much the video sucks when all you need is to know is that it sucks. That is all.


Verdict: It sucks.

Saturday, 22 November 2014

Midnight Screenings: "Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas"


They are really making a big deal about this movie, they compare the movie to being like a David Lynch Movie. I never knew they were so concerned about the whole war on Christmas, they are acting like they are experts on the whole thing. They make a big point about the "Black guy" in the movie, and they mimic what they call the stereotypical dialog which he speaks. Which is pretty funny to listen to but it's the angle at which they are getting at, which is that the movie is "typical" Christian Christmas movie and that it's "exploiting" black people. You can just make your own comment about that.


They then talks about a conspiracy theorist in the movie and they make a fox news jibe, because democrats. They really rant a lot about this movie, they yap on and on and it's just so annoying. They're probably execrating the movie and trying to niche the shit out of it because the really want it to become the next "the room", and they talk about a wave of religious movies coming every couple of months. Is this gonna because a new thing, hating on religious movie's because their atheists. Whatever, they're just a bunch of pretentious pricks anyway.

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

A Nightmare on Elm Street

Right back into the clickster video's, well it's not like he said he would stop it. And it's the anniversary of A Nightmare on Elm Street so what's slob gonna review, no not a parody or a rip off but the original. Why does he even bother doing a video on this when he brings nothing new to the table? Probably so he could just cross the movie off his list, and we don't even get his actual opinion on the film, we just get his snarky attitude making fun of what people said about the movie back when it was released. 

And you know he's an idiot when he starts defending the remake, he said " For the first time in 20 years I was actually scared of Freddy". That's the most stupidest thing I've ever heard Brad say, that just says something about his taste in movies. Heck, he'd probably say that Fortress 2 is better than the Godfather, even though it is. But anyway it's a mediocre video at best with nothing interesting said or shown other than the movie itself which is basically more entertaining than the actual "review" itself.

Let's have a look at the comments:

Why is Linkara here, he probably roams around his friends sites while not ranting about the Irate Gamer.
What a  idiot.
Exactly do a video on stuff like this, it would be hilarious. But I guess I'll have to go to NDTV for that one.

Sunday, 9 November 2014

Down and Dirty Duck


I didn't think he could do it but he did, he made an enjoyable video. Probably because he picked content which he can actually make fun of, and this is where he succeeds and he deserves respect for it. Though since I liked it I'll only say a couple of things about the video, it's mostly only nitpicking but it's criticism nonetheless. He basically plagiarizes Wikipedia as usual when explaining a little back story about the films production, and he does make references to his previous reviews which aren't really necessary but continuity buffs will probably like it. Also he didn't make a Bevis and Butthead reference when they were in the desert, what gives? That's it, I really found it hard to find something not to like about a video, now go be a good duck.

Monday, 3 November 2014

Snob Riffs! "Halloween Safety"


He drones over the entire thing just like a shitty MST3K episode, the jokes are made up on the spot and are very lame. It's like he didn't even watch it before hand to make sure he could make fun of it, but the sad thing is that he probably did. Which just demonstrates his pitiful comedy skills, throughout the video he makes a bunch of horror movie references which aren't funny at all because he's just name dropping movies and not making an actual joke. He makes multiple KKK references because people have pointy hats and white outfits, in the video a black kid paints his face white and he calls him racist because sarcasm. You might get a chuckle out of that but if you do you've probably died a little inside, this video is so dry that it makes a let's player seem like comedy gold.

And just look at this line of dialog he says in the video:
"Hey kids what's the difference between a dead baby and a rock"
 Brad Jones must be one sick son of a bitch to make that kind of joke, I mean seriously what the hell is wrong with this guy? No wonder this guy doesn't have children, or can't he have any?

Thursday, 30 October 2014

Halloween II

Another popular slasher movie in Halloween, who would have guessed. Probably trying to cash in on the Halloween season, what's next him doing more themed video's to cash in on the season like every other TGWTG contributer. Oh wait. All he does is just joke his way through the entire thin and he constantly keeps saying "but it's okay when this movie does it". And he drags that stupid Ben Tramer joke out throughout the entire video, like it's the cornerstone of his criticism. Anyway, the video is alright and doesn't bring anything new to the table, if you want someone who actually knows what he's talking about, check out James Rolfe's review over at cinemassacre.

Sunday, 26 October 2014

Midnight Screenings: "Fury," "The Best of Me" and "The Book of Life"


I wasn't really thinking about covering these video's since I mostly cover the primary stuff on the Cinema Snob but I'll take a crack at it for the time being. Because what you see in these video's in their true personalities shining through, and I intend to expose it. I'll post my thoughts about each video under different headings as to make it easier to read.

Fury with Ryan and Brad


This video was mildly annoying as Brad kept interrupting Ryan when he was talking about WW2 stuff, this is both rude and disrespectful as he was actually adding to the conversation unlike Brad, who was just saying random stuff like this movies awesome and the like. Though at least they talked about the movie unlike most of the time where Brad talks about random shit because that's supposed to be funny. It was nice to see Ryan again but since he is actually going places where Brad is just wallowing in his own puke.


The Best of Me with Brian and Dave


As usual Brian and Dave are just great to listen to, they are both funny and have great chemistry. They hit all the right points that a midnight screening / vlog should be, they are both funny and are genuinely interesting to listen to. I recommend you check out the video's with them.


The Book of Life with Jake and Brad

For me this video was just annoying, just like every children's movie they go to see. The tools on the Cinema Snob think it's "hilarious" to see two grown men jack off to children's movie's in the Cinema. Oh, I mean rant about children's movie's, though I'm pretty sure that's what they do because they can't honestly be paying attention to that kinda stuff. Not unless they're retarded. Back the their video, they basically rant they're way through the entire thing, and the weird thing is that seem to care about what each other think about it. Whatever, all you need to know it that the video sucked and they didn't attempt to make the video watchable.

Let's take a look at the comments section:

And this all started just because I said Brad should stop interrupting Ryan when he talks, and Brad responds by posting as my brother Pearse and posting his phone number. And as usual Brad takes the ISP approach because he's a coward who can't face the facts.

Though it was nice to see the WW2 enthusiasts chat amongst themselves in the comments section, though the sudden appearance of fanboy LloydFan ruined one guy's post. All the other comments aren't really worth posting so I'll end it here, I'll probably do the other midnight screening's since it's more effort than what Brad does.

Friday, 17 October 2014

Fun in Balloon Land


Seriously another what the fuck Hollywood, this is getting old and it really shows when he constantly dragging out the footage while he's talking over it. This video is 18 minutes long while the actual movie is 53 minutes long, he really needs to stop doing mediocre video's like these if he wants to stay afloat. Though with all the circle jerking going on we know he'll find a way. Basically the video is plain boring, you have some bald child molester talking over clips of a terrible children's movie, what else needs to be said. Though the only reason he covered this movie was too beat RiffTrax to the punch because they are planning to release a commentary for the film, Brad probably saw this as an opportunity to steal their thunder. That's the only reason he did this movie, utterly pathetic.


Sunday, 12 October 2014

The Bloody Video Horror That Made Me Puke on My Aunt Gertrude

Ah, it's about time he got back to shot on shitteo, too bad the video is just mediocre. And it's only like that because of the funny clips that he shows and nothing that he says, because as usual he's a bloody idiot who prefers to keep repeating the same formula over and over again. This is what's killing TGWTG fanbase, they don't know how to please their fanbase outside of the fan boys.

And did you notice how he's bald again, remember last year where he did the same thing, it's probably because since he's getting older and he's losing hair, he still looks like an idiot. In the video he tried to make a joke about it but it was dragged out way too long and wasn't funny. He also references his old video's since he reviewed a film kinda like this before, he doesn't like the way he did his video's previously probably because they were actually funny. No, seriously go watch his early video's and then watch his new video's and you'll see the difference.

The bald bastard himself
And in the movie killers name was Hassan, sounds very middle eastern to me. And Brad didn't even make any jokes about it, I'm not talking about racist jokes or anything I just mean is it hard for him to make a Islamic State joke. You know poking fun at stuff in real life and he could have taken a jab at fox news at the same time, I'm practically writing these jokes for him. I'm too lazy to write any more so I'll end it here.

What's the down low on the video: It's got some laughs but it's the clips from the movie and not Brad Jones comedic talent. Anyway onto the comments:

Probably shaved it again because of his receding hair line
Hopefully it is Ebola
Jesus Christ, nobody mention that bald bastard, man is that guy annoying, I would make a blog about how he sucks but I don't have the time nor the energy
Uhm, so that's why he's bald, ...good

Sunday, 5 October 2014

The Bros: Bloppers

Bloopers...really, you know I expect this kind of shit from terrible comedies but not from something like this. You'd think that they knew how unfunny this would be, but no they stuck it up on the site anyway because all the fan boys will cherish it just like how they cherish they're idol shrines.

Anyway it's basically them two acting out their stupid skit and failing miserably, like real amateurs they keep flubbing their lines and start laughing because reasons. Though there is a really weird bit in the video where they are hugging and after that Jake forces Brad's head down to his crotch area, he does this multiple times and one would wonder if they do this in real life. I'm taking that as a yes because it's not the first time they've had gay tendencies on the show, maybe that's why Brad is so defensive about gay people since he's one of them. That would answer a lot of questions.

He wishes he was a porn director because we all know that the only thing he gets is the shit off the end of Brad's you know what. You see even Brad is laughing at him, even though it's his turn next. And by the way, what's with all the sexual tension between the cast on the Cinema Snob, it's weird because even the fanbase is like that too. Or do I have to remind you of the time people wanted Jillian to be gang banged by every incarnation of Batman? If you think that's weird get a load of this comment:

Now that's some messed up shit
That's highly likely
Even the Irate Gamer made an appearance, and he's right about that

Anyway it's getting weird over at the Cinema Snob, and let's wait and see what he decides to do a video on next, besides seeing every movie that's out in the Cinema that is.