Friday, 28 June 2013

Brad Jones Facebook Account

I recently check out Brad's Facebook account and whoa was I surprised, not only are there pics of him cross dressing but pics of him raping someone in the back of a car. If that ain't seedy I don't know what is, here is the evidence.
Aww cross, he's getting licked my ugly Ted Raimi
Ah, you make me sick brad. Who do you think you are Alex Reid
Jesus Christ, they're grabbing each others junk
Raping someone in the back of a car, not surprised
Two child molesters, especially Linkara on the right
Told you his cat was ugly
This explains why his hair fell out on the last episode. Dear god brad why did you shave you head, now you look like jerrid and a child molester.... wait aren't they the same thing. 

Wednesday, 26 June 2013

In Search of the Wow Wow Wibble Woggle Wazzie Woodle Woo

This could have been a funny video but sadly it wasn't, there was some funny jokes that he did make but in the end it was all for naught. There was one to many gay jokes about coming out and going into the closet, why did he review a children's movie anyway it just makes as much sense as reviewing an episode of the Teletubbies. My guess is that it's the easiest thing to make fun of due to it being aimed at very young children, why not review the Fimbles or the Tweenies next brad as im pretty sure those video's would be a big hit.
The most badass extraterrestrials on this side of the quadrant
The Teletubbies are wanted by Interpol for being the kingpins in the worlds largest human trafficking organisation, if you ever see them stay far away and phone the police quickly as possible as they are considered armed and dangerous. At least the ad has changed but it's a stupid ad for banks to steal your money and leave you homeless, stay away stay far away.
And no I won't rollover to watch the outtakes, well what can I say about the title card. All I can see is a child molester on the right and a saint on the left, seriously why did brad pick on this guy who gives alot of his own money to charities out of his heart. Does brad do this will the money he has, I don't think so and neither does anybody else on TGWTG. They're all about taking money than giving something back, go and spend $50,000 on a movie again. Sorry about that but back to the review.

He say's he won't say the full title but we all know he will and he does near the end of this video, sigh. Brad say's that this won emmy's but they were local while his movie got the worst movie award in 2003. He was referring to freak out, is that the one where someone gets raped and has censored nudity. Well it seems that brad has got his priorities straight, after all he does play late night poker with the boys. He say's that the title card music sounds like salacious crumb jerking off, question why does brad know that.
Well he does look like the sound of him jacking off would be rubbery
Brad calls Tim Noah an overgrown man child with a camera, but I though that was the Spoony One. Brad's just jealous because he is more successful than him, you should be ashamed of yourself. He makes various references to movies such as Nightmare On Elm Street and the Poltergeist,
Told you he was a gay bastard
Speaking of references brad references Ninja the Mission Force in a very lame sequence of this video, if you don't know it was the toy robot carrying a message.
Fuck you Ed Glaser and your Avian Ninja Warrior
The main problem I had with this review is that brad never shuts up, I mean seriously he keep talking over the clips and never lets up. That was really annoying, a monkey pulls his trousers down and brad say's it was sitting down there months waiting for the right moment. He could have said didn't know the monkey from Evolution was hiding in there, what didn't expect that reference but don't worry I've got more.
At the end of the movie it say's what to do with mash potatoes, brad then say's anything just eat them but what he should have done was sit there still silently nostalgia critic style. That wasn't funny brad and if you wanted to make a joke you should have referenced Bo Selecta mash potatoes, he also could have said or you can plug a hole in a spaceship with it but im pretty sure that he hasn't seen Star Trek Enterprise. Someone in the comments section mentioned LOTR po-tay-toes youtube video and that would have been funny if brad inserted clip or referenced that instead, boil em mash em stick em in a stew. Brad pulls some of his own hair out at the end of the video, his hair line has already receeded enough you know.
Craig David number 1, can I get a re-wind
The UK's really weird, anyhow overall the video was very lame and could have been better. Someone said in the comments that at least it wasn't a porn but I though that brad and commentors said that Ilsa movies aren't porn, they could still be considered porn you know you bunch of idiots. Anyway check out the video for yourselves........ why is it only me who say's the video's aren't funny when it's the truth.

Video Link
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/06/24/in-search-of-the-wow-wow-wibble-woggle-wazzie-woodle-woo.aspx


Other Updates on the Web
It seems that even the Syrian National Council have my back, take that Brad.
It seems that some Russian guy mentioned my blog on Brad's site, knew my Russian fanbase would kick in.
After all I did play as the Soviet Union in Red Alert 2

Sunday, 23 June 2013

Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks

Boring, dull and uninteresting. That pretty much sums up this video, I just sat there watching with a still face not laughing at any jokes. Well at least the ad is different for this week and is also available for NI as it includes the UK and Ireland, I guess they learned that neglecting paying customers hurts business. Anyhow what can I say about the title card, brad being captured by some black guy probably going to be forced to have sex with Ilsa......... well that' his dream anyhow as he seems to have some weird fetish for Dyanne Thorne who is the actor for Ilsa.
Well I hope this isn't his latest trend, reviewing Ilsa movies because it probably will be. I just guess that since she died during the end of the first movie that this would probably be similar to the first movie which it is, some place where sex is involved and then revolt expect this time it's in the middle east. Brad points out that the movie wanted a bigger audience so they toned down on the nudity and violence which takes away from what made the first movie good in the first place. He compares it to deep throat 2 and he say's that the characters are meant to suck and not the movie, brad inserts this but I guess this is fox news but im not sure.
Brad fails to make good jokes in this review and here are some that he could have done but probably didn't want to because he probably thinks that people would call him racist. It's not like the middle east would have jihaded his ass if he made a Innocence of Muslims joke which he should have because I expected it, it would have been funny which could have made this review funny. He also could have said hey look it's Sheik Abdul Bashir, what it's a perfectly good joke which again brad should have made.
Since the movie is in the middle east and the movie is about the sex trade brad didn't say wait they're still like that or he could have said at least he doesn't have 5 wives. Someone gets forced fed in the movie through their mouth but brad could have made a joke saying why not just stick tubes up their noses, that was a Guantanamo bay joke since right now people are being forced fed through their noses which must hurt. Of course they are terrorists so who cares about them, im guessing he didn't make that joke because Obama is currently president and he wouldn't want to injure his democrat governments image now would he seeing he and TGWTG are one themselves. He probably would have made that joke if Mitt Romney was in control, also he made an IRS scandal joke the other week so why not poke fun at Guantanamo bay.

A Exploding birth control later
(Had to remove image because Google)

Ilsa also gets raped by a leper in the movie just if you wanted to know. A guy gets oil put on him and set alight, brad say's chocolate but he could have made a joke about the middle east and oil. Brad also say's nice ass, nice rack to Dyanne Thorne, he also say's that he would still have sex with her even if she wore his grandmothers skin........ didn't know you were into GILF brad. Also that's disgusting to say especially since you mentioned your grandmother which was just eww, so what your into incest now as well. Anyhow Dyanne Thorne is still alive brad so why not try your luck as it seems you want to have sex with a 69 year old you sick fuck.
That'll plague your nightmares.
The video has only got 30 comments in three days which really say's something because the video was boring as hell. People probably didn't want to say this because you aren't a real fan if you can point out when a video is not funny, your just a troll if you do that. But wait there is only a couple of hours before the autographed DVD's get auctioned off, oh noes anything but that.
Lets look at some comments and whoa are they weird, it makes me think that Brad's fanbase are all misogynists just like spoony one. From people wanting a harem to people wanting team snob to remake an Ilsa movie and have Jake fuck Jillian into submission, sigh what the hell is wrong with these people and after last times comments this has gone too far.
Yea kickstarter, who do they think they are Angry Joe, someone also called brad sexy and let me guess next they're gonna think that film brain is the sexiest man alive. I say he's an ugly shit, Brad is sexy when angry...... you make me sick.
Brad also uploads video's days after they're on his site to TGWTG, why does he do this. Well I think that he does this to get more views by putting them on TGWTG later which = $$$. Those who watch his video's will obviously already watched his videos so when he puts them on TGWTG's people will think it's something new and therefore watch.

Video Link
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/06/19/ilsa-harem-keeper-of-the-oil-sheiks.aspx

Other Updates around the site
It was good to see brad salute the recently deceased James Gandolfini, he will be missed.
Midnight Screening of "World War Z"
I did watch this one to see what he had to say about the movie, one thing I didn't want to hear from him was that 2012 sucked. So what do they hate Roland Emmerich now just like Terrence Malick, seriously I don't know why brad didn't like 2012 because it is a good movie. They also put These two scumbag piece of shit haters return to see World War Z! in the video description, let me guess brad did that because people called them haters for hating on man of steel so he's being comical/an ass about it. 


Wednesday, 19 June 2013

Illinois Times Best Local Character Brad Jones

I recently stumbled upon this article by the Illinois Times, it is about the best local character and it was no other than Brad Jones himself. It's actually kind of interesting to see this, I guess Brad probably already knows that this happened though but I E-Mailed him just to be sure. This was also only last October so this is kinda recent, anyone want to say what they think about this.

Here is what the article says

BEST LOCAL CHARACTER
Brad Jones, aka The Cinema Snob
Brad Jones of Springfield is no Roger Ebert, but the famous Chicago film critic was the inspiration for a just-regular-guy who has taken the Internet by storm as The Cinema Snob. Jones easily recalls his indignation several years ago while watching Ebert review Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter. “He got on this huge soapbox about it – ‘This movie teaches young people that there’s nothing to life other than you’ll have sex and get killed,’” Jones remembers. “I’m like, ‘Dude, it’s about a guy in a hockey mask.’ That’s really where the idea came from.” And so Jones now makes his living by reviewing exploitation/horror (don’t dare call them “bad”) movies on the Internet, playing the part of a pretentious critic who takes seriously such movies as Nail Gun Massacre. Jones’ review of the slasher film from the 1980s (“That movie sucks,” he says) prompted a complaint by the makers to Youtube, which removed Jones’ review and prompted him to start his own website in 2009. And things took off from there. Jones is now living the dream, reviewing and occasionally making movies full time after stints as a radio disc jockey (his voice invites comparisons with Don Pardo) and a driver for the circulation department at the State Journal-Register. He was recently invited to work as a game show host in Chicago. While Jones enjoys classics such as Casablanca and Citizen Kane, he prefers talking aboutCaligula and Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, and he’s helped make Springfield famous with movie fans from as far away as Canada who voted him the capital city’s best local character. Runner-up: Gus Gordon

Here is the link
http://npaper-wehaa.com/illinoistimes/2012/10/25/?article=1717938

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

GAME BOYS The Animated Series: "Carter's Alley" and More

I am deeply insulted by the Irish accent in the recent game boys video, I am Irish myself and that's a stereotype voice which is insulting to hear. At the end of the video they say Scottish but that's not a Scottish accent, did they even research how Scottish people speak. I have Scottish cousins and that's not how they talk you ignorant American's, next thing you know your all gonna think that Josef Fritzl is from Australia. Spoony makes a cameo in this video as a child and just hear his voice, because we all know children have the voices of grown men. That fucker Robert Walker was the one who did the Irish accent and he should be ashamed of himself, just because he did a horrible German accent in demo reel doesn't mean he can do an Irish one.
Brad's jokes are two dimensional as ever. For the record, GAME BOYS The Animated Series sucks badly and I though newgrounds had bad flash animation. It looks horrible and he said before that he will put it out on DVD to make the money back on this so it must have costed him a pretty penny for this steamy shit. Did you see that brad, you made me reference Vampires vs. Zombies and I now put both of you in the same category.

Video Link
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/06/15/game-boys-the-animated-series-carters-alley.aspx

"Man of Steel" Re-Review
This video shows you how big of a dick Brad Jones is, he doesn't give two shits about what his fan base thinks. This was meant to be his response but all he say's is "did someone say something" and then shows a old Superman cartoon...... because you know funny. Does he really think so little of those who have a different opinion than his, this was all over the reaction to his man of steel midnight screening.

Catching Up: 6/18/2013
Im still watching those ad's Brad
More autographed Snob DVDs, people are seriously buying this shit.
Brad and his weird child sexual innuendos
Yea and that's how blip and TGWTG make their money, they crash your videos and make you watch multiple ad's

Saturday, 15 June 2013

Souperman

Check out Brad's E-begg page, if you really want to see the hellish prices that he has set. Oh wow I could buy autographed movie poster's and DVD's from Brad and the gang, gee willikers. $30 is kinda steep brad, then again so is everything TGWTG's puts out. I also hear they're going another charity drive soon so prepare again to bleed your wallets dry, they really are a bunch of bastards you know that. Here are some pics of the prices, you can even buy a combo of the shit he's selling and people have actually bought them. Just check the third pic, sweet jesus brad must be making buck loads of cash.
Yea right, I think not
I guess the S really does stand for sex machine, dammit why didn't brad make that joke. We all know the real reason why he reviewed this porno, it's because Man of Steel is out in theatres which means direct some internet traffic to Cinema Snob so he can make some $$. Why do they keep showing the same ad, can't they at least have a variety of ad's to show or maybe they just want to drum this specific one into my head.
Derpy derp, why show me add if it's still not available to NI. I know it's UK based ad's but just don't show these ads to this region if it's not available to buy.
Anyhow to the actual review, this is a short 15 minute video which is good as longer ones tend to drag on painfully. Short video's are good because they keep our attention span while longer ones on the other hand do not such as the new Nostalgia Critic reviews which suck the big one. Ok the title card, Souperman taking brad's jacket away........ funny I guess.

He starts off the video by riffing on kneel before zod making a joke about him asking for a blowjob. Brad also pokes fun at himself multiple times throughout this video because we all know that's funny, probably thinks he's Bruce Campbell but that would be giving him too much credit. He say's that he might be Souperman but then see's what it means on urban dictionary.
Yea sounds like brad
Brad points out that some guy from Last House on the left is in this porno and later in the video brad uses the music from the movie, he then gets angry from hearing it. Is this going to be one of his things now, getting angry. Is he going to turn into all those other Angry internet reviewers on the internet who even have angry in their names. We have Clark Bent, Lois Lewd and just Jimmy, brad then say's why not Rimmy Olsen. You know that word rim job brad say's from time to time. It was funny when the camera zooms up to Souperman's face and brad then say's im watching you.
Anger
Brad uses the dear Cinema Snob jokes more than once which isn't a good sign, TGWTG's really like to milk jokes don't they such as that idiot Doug Walker who can't even spell his own name right. The jokes also weren't funny and he poked fun at people talking about the joke he made the other week and thinking that he meant it towards the entire republican political party. When was the last time he even did a dear cinema snob joke, my memory may be hazy but I think it was years ago.
Asshole, idiot also didn't even spell aisle right
He probably was thinking isle as in Isle of Man, someone also pointed this out in the comments section. Brad then tried to defend himself by saying "Hey, don't blame me! Blame the person who wrote me the letter!".
Souperman seems really keen on selling those peanuts, there is multiple orgy's throughout the film which brad doesn't leave on the screen for too long. Don't want people to wack off to this video you know brad, brad does give his reaction to the Liquorice scene which he makes us listen to as he cannot show us. Another insight into the perverted mind of Brad Jones, im guessing that those Indian men who gang rape women on buses are his kinda guys. Brad also makes an unnecessary IRS joke in the video, what's next another Oscar Pistorius joke.
Don't cry....... don't cry
That line delivery was really funny. At the end of the video he shows a clip from the Superman Musical, why did he even review that in the first place. Stupid reference, because you know showing that clip was funny...... right. The movie is about Souperman fighting against Lex Luther who is against sex but Souperman saves the day and stops his evil plans, sounds like a blockbuster.
Lame reference
Overall this was a good funny video, granted that most of the laughs that I got from this video was from what he showed and not his actual jokes. My favorite part of this review was when Souperman say's have some peanuts, it's just so funny and random. Anyhow check out the video for yourself, there is also a shitstorm of comments in the Midnight Screening of Man of Steel so you may also want to check that out.
I will leave you with this though.
Have some peanuts
Video Link
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/06/13/souperman.aspx

Other Updates around the Site and Web
There have been some weird comments on the Midnight Screening: "This Is the End" video, they are directed at Jillian Brad's Ex Wife. From people wanting her to get gangbanged by batman to moving her "big jugs" over to another state, seriously WTF's wrong with cinema snob's fanbase. Your just lucky people haven't drawn any Rule 34 of Team Snob because that would just be fucked up, there is of Spoony so god forgive me.
Brad couldn't please her? We all know their divorce was really about Jillian's Black baby with Mister X
The comments section then got closed probably because of this, see the proof.
Spoony One also got some spam mail recently but I think horse porn tops brad wanting Spoony's penis to be bigger, it just say's something about Brad's mental state when you know that he watches horse porn. I told you before that he was a furry lover, he still wants to fuck Lola bunny you know. With all this you'd think brad was Japanese.