Friday, 31 May 2013

Heartbeeps

Brad as a robot, because you know funny. Also the color of the characters skin is not the same as in the movie, what did the artist who made this image not even check out the movie first to see what they look like. The movie is a robot love story, ok NOT exploitation. What the hell is brad doing reviewing another romance story, this isn't what we expect from him. Why is he branching out when he should just stick with what he does best, porn and exploitation movies. He should have never reviewed moment by moment and he also references that movie in this review, both reviews have this in common they both suck.
He stares into your soul
Now just look a that, the one in the title card doesn't even match this a little. The skin, hair and practically everything are different colors. He also doesn't wear fucking glasses you moron. The special effects in this movie are really good for the year, 1981 jesus Christ. At first I though this movie was a robot porn (If that even exists), what knowing brad it could have been. During the video brad mentions that he got punched by his dates jock boyfriend at his school prom, good sock him some more. Another insight into the seedy life of brad jones.
What the
Cinema snob also gets angry when the slapstick bot makes jokes and throughout the review for no reason, it seems like it is forced and it really shows. He usually doesn't get angry in his review but maybe he now wants to have his target audience those of AVGN and Nostalgia Critic, just laugh at people when they get angry because we all know that's funny....... right.
We can all agree on one thing though, at least it wasn't a Chris Rock bot.
Your new night terrors
Brad missed a joke as the killer robot looks like a Dalek, people did point this out in the comments section but it appears that those comments were deleted because I can't find them (Edit: They're back now but why where they removed in the first place, watching you brad). Really brad, you know I have already said before that brad deletes comments and it turns out to be true. Here's what brad said on his twitter account.
If he did mention it looks like a Dalek he could have got Linkara to appear and that would have been a good funny cameo. TGWTG's love their cameo's and brad had a perfect opportunity to do it but sadly didn't. He said as you can see in the above image that he doesn't watch Doctor Who, even if you haven't saw Doctor Who you still know what a Dalek looks like because it's common knowledge. Linkara even replied back to brad and said:
I was expecting brad to make that joke and for Linkara to appear but it never happened, other people also expected him to appear but all we are left with now is disappointment.
What you gonna do plunge me
God I hope someone gets that reference, also here is that twitter link so you can see the tweets for yourself.
https://twitter.com/thecinemasnob/status/340142522540122112

Brad randomly references Hangover 3 and Star Trek Into Darkness, trying to make people watch your midnight screenings of those movies eh brad. Someone types movies into google, then heads to cinema to watch movie and then watch midnight screening to relate to brad's feelings on the movie and that = $$$. I will give brad this though, he say's and this guy keeps getting work showing a picture of Adam Sandler. That was actually funny, we all know Little Nicky is Adam Sandlers best movie or at least I think so.
Near the end of the video brad lifts his foot up, he probably want Quentin Tarantino to notice him so then he can get raped by mister foot fetish.
Brad looks like an idiot with his glasses off
Overall this video is just stale, his jokes were just as robotic as the movie itself. I only smiled or laughed at one or two bits which is really a shame because you expect better from Brad. Then again most of the laughs you will get is from what he shows you in the video and not his actual jokes which say's something. The video lasts 24 minutes and it drags on pretty quickly, a pretty bad video from brad and away from the regular formula. Anyway check out the video for yourself and make up your own mind.

Video Link
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/05/29/heartbeeps.aspx

Other Updates around the site
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/05/27/dvd-r-hell-gary-coleman-for-safetys-sake.aspx

That video was funny so check it out, brad was being a wiseass again in the comments section.

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS

A nazisploitation again, really brad. What's your fascination with the Third Reich, are you a Nazi or just a sick fuck. Go watch your torture porn, no wonder why your not married. Oh wait you were, in your face. Don't worry you have Jerrid and your Cat now so no problemo, you can have sex with them you gay shit. I told you that brad was a Nazi back in the start of the cinema snob sucks blog, maybe those Nazi exploitation films have gotten to him. I also heard that he reads Mein Kampf before he goes to sleep everyday.
Looking a bit peckish there brad
The review starts off with brad on his expensive laptop, looking up porn there I see. Actually he was on the internet looking at a Nazi uniform, going to reenact last orgy of the SS I see. He then calls Film Brain who is one ugly shit, seriously he looks like some skanky ass neanderthal.
Damn he's ugly, even more than Spoony One
For those of you who don't know who Film Brain is then let me remind you, he is an ugly shit from England who review movies. There you go. Brad wanted him to dress as a Nazi but he say's no, brad asks why he watched the other llsa movies, film brain say's that he likes tits. Brad say's me to, and that's why your both not married.

If you didn't notice,brad shaved his beard and he now looks like an even bigger creep. Brad also added in the video thumbnail after it was uploaded. Overall this video was below average for me, it had a few jokes but that's all.

Video Link
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/05/20/ilsa-she-wolf-of-the-ss.aspx

Thursday, 16 May 2013

The German Chainsaw Massacre

Ah the coming down of the Berlin wall and the fall of the soviet union, takes you way back and that was only around 20 years ago. Damn Germans want to build flats where the wall is now, idiots. Well this review is of a German movie made at the time of the reunification of Germany. It features political satire and a body count, the films creator said that this is his take on the unification of Germany. So when people from west Germany go into east Germany they turn them into sausages?
Funny John Wayne Gacy Reference
Anyhow the movie is called Blackest Heart or The German Chainsaw Massacre. The movie starts off with stock footage from the reunification of Germany, brad then reads the first couple of lines about the reunification of Germany from Wikipedia. Brad makes good jokes in this video and it did get laughs out of me. Woman riding on bike, boyfriends sees her and wants sex but she say's no and some guy comes alone and stops him by bashing him on the head. Then he tries to rape her? It then cuts back to the boyfriend I think and Brad say's he is saying his favorite AT4W line.
Squeaky voice AT5W style "I am a Man"
They are talking about incest in the movie and brad says it's German Jerry Jerry Springer except with more of this and cuts to clip, he could have said expect with incest and people shitting in each others mouths but whatever. Germany's weird. Oh yea Udo Kier's also in this one, why..... who cares.
He then sets his hair on fire
There are many other funny jokes in this video but I'll not spoil them all for you. A woman gets ran over and turns into a plastic doll, what.... never been to Germany.
There is some political satire in the movie, gotta love that unemployed customs officials at the border bit. Because since the two country joined back together they were put out of their jobs.
Overall this was a great funny video so kudos to brad, the video took him an extra week but he said that he just took a week off. The video clocks in at 13 minutes so this is a short one but that's not necessarily a bad thing, will this be his standard format of videos from now on or will he go back to the regular length. Anyway check out the video and enjoy, damn where's the technoviking when you need him.

Video Link
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/05/15/the-german-chainsaw-massacre.aspx

Other updates around the site
You may have noticed the behind the scenes of brad's new show which he writes and directs, the reviewers. It stars Jake and Brian as two guys who start their own internet shows, sounds good and I like how jakes show spoofs Linkara and his story lines as Jake has lord penis and not Lord Vyce. I'll keep on the lookout for this as who knows if it's gonna be bad or good, anyhow Brian looks like a child molester in this picture.
The power of print screen
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/05/07/the-reviewers-behind-the-scenes-meet-count-thomas-howell.aspx
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/05/02/the-reviewers-behind-the-scenes-meet-space-lancer-steve.aspx

Oh yea a new gameboys the animated series episode but who cares about that, we all know space balls the animated series is where the shit is.


Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Water Power

Just average, not much happening in this 13 minute long video. There are some funny bits in this video but not many, only 6 days since his last video The Terminator 1991 Remake so well done there brad. I wonder if there is going to be another short video this week but who knows so we'll wait and see. The title card, oh ho ho because it's going to be shoved up brad's ass and shit's going to fly everywhere...... you know funny.

The movie or porno should I say is about some guy shoving whatever up peoples asses and then shit fly's everywhere, perfect jerk off material for brad. During the review he say's midnight heat and then shows a clip of himself from the movie of the same name but he wasn't talking about his own movie but another one. He just wanted to reference his own shit I guess. 
Ugh just look at him, doesn't even have his beard
A funny bit in the video is when two people are getting it on and the lead comes in and brad say's what do you think happens next. He then shows his reaction to the scene while you can hear there's shit everywhere coming from the movie. He also makes an unnecessary Scientology joke after the lead is talking about enema's or something and brad's say's and then Scientology was born.
You know he had a hard on while watching that scene
Not really much to complain about since it was a short video but im looking forward to his next review.

Video Link