Saturday, 16 February 2013

Moment by Moment

Overall this review is just mediocre, there are some jokes and laughs but not enough to warrant a positive rank for this review. It's not terrible but not good either so lets gets to why this is, it could have been what he has to work with or maybe he's losing his grip on how to make a funny video. Also he can stop poking fun at Scientology, I mean what did they ever do to him. He said he was just making harmless jokes but does he always have to do it when an actor in the movie is a part of Scientology.

He starts off the video by showing flashback footage from last valentines day when he was reviewing Rape Squad. Hmm memories just flood back to when he was married, yea remember his divorce. He then say's that he's reviewing rape squad 2 but it's a joke, you know funny. He say's that John Travolta has a movie every decade that ruins his career, this, Battlefield Earth or Perfect from the 80's. Battlefield earth isn't as bad as people make it out to be, does't mean it doesn't have it's problems though.
I was learning to conquer galaxies when you were learning to spell your name
He starts giving some information about the movie saying that it performed badly at the box office, hasn't been released on VHS, DVD etc. He say's that the movie doesn't work for him because they look like brother and sister when on screen together, he is talking about the hairstyles of that time period and that alot of people have the same hairstyles. Even if they may look related due to their hairstyles it hasn't stopped brad from jerking off in the past when he was watching the incest in Caligula.

Travolta follows the woman home and if that doesn't count as stalking then I don't know what is, creepy. Brad say's he likes John Travolta as an actor but is that because he doesn't come out of the closet like brad. What brad has made many gay gestures such as Jimmy Saville, Jerrid, man crush on spoony's hair which he has not cut in fear of surprise butt sex from brad and more.

Strip offers he some sleeping pills, brad then say's that he would have slipped it in her drink anyway. Brad seems to do this also when playing roofie roulette with the boys at poker nights. He say's that the whole first act is her looking at Travolta with disgust and he keeps offering her drugs,
She keeps pushing him off and she eventually comes to him when he is fixing a car and then they have lunch together, brad comments on the bad romance throughout the entire movie and say's that this may be a rape squad 2, if you keep offering someone sleeping pills they will think that you are a rapist. He say's that this movie has been stalkerish which is correct from what he has shown and told. Halfway through the review at this point.
Throughout their conversation he keeps talking about his friend and she asks is he his partner, brad then comments on the chemistry between the two due to their real life sexual orientation and say's that it is questionable. Brad say's that film brain was right when he mentioned that the most annoying and chicle thing is a romance movie is the third act breakup, strip arrives at her house drunk and ask for him address book. I hate film brain by the way, annoying as hell. Irate game is better than his trash.

Strip explains his back story and the movie remember you it's for a mature audience, then then enter a bubble tub and he say's there is no bubble machine in it. A fart joke brad really, why couldn't he have referenced Ali G Indahouse where a guy actually creates a bubble tub effect by farting in it.
Strip say's that if she isn't ready to commit to a relationship then it's over, brad's say's that their relationship is going to fast. Brad does mention that he was giving them stick about their similar hairs but say's that everyone has the same hair. Strip storms out when he see's her with a friend and then they both go out to look for him. Travolta then gets invited to a footography party, lets me guess Quentin Tarantino is the host of this party.
Her ex husband is also at this party and strip leaves, back at the beach house strip overhears her talking about their relationship and that it may not go anywhere. Brad mentions that they throw a mafia subplot 90 minutes in and then it's never referenced again. Her ex husband arrives at the house and strip leaves again, she chases after him and tells him happy birthday. The movie then ends showing pics from scenes earlier in the movie. Now children did you enjoy that story, I sure didn't.
FIN
Brad wonders why he spotlighted this film on his show and he phones Jillian and said that she mentioned it to him. She just wanted to see if he was stupid enough to watch it, ha ha ha his marriage is in the bin.

Video Link
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/02/12/moment-by-moment.aspx

News on other updates on the site
Finally deception of a generation part 2 but only 25 days after the first part, I think that he just flooded the site with midnight screenings to put it off for a while so he can always have something new on the site. Ninja the mission force is pretty bad and unfunny but that doesn't stop them because now they want you to buy their DVDs, with only 9 comments so far you can just tell how much people actually want to buy it. For limited time only $7.99 wow that's a bargain, it's just like not worth it as who wants to buy that trash.
Sorry but Ninja The Mission Force failed for me

Thursday, 7 February 2013

42nd Street Forever, Volume 1

This is the worst video he has done ever, I mean it's so bad im not even going to take a pic of the title card but just a print screen. Utterly bull, it's just him talking over trailers for movies that you get on a compilation DVD. I mean seriously that itself makes you not want to watch the video, how about we just watch jerrid watch an episode of Rob, oh wait we did.

We all know the real reason why he posted this video, why of course so he could tell us to buy his DVD's of ebay. Ebay seriously, you know they sell there because they aren't a real company so they can't have their products on amazon. Dear god people are actually bidding for them, may god have mercy on their souls.
I don't think anybody want's a signed autograph from you Brad, who do you think you are Ray Parks
The video is just not funny so god forgive me for giving you a link to it.

Video Link
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/02/06/42nd-street-forever-volume-1.aspx

Sunday, 3 February 2013

Return to Sleepaway Camp

At least this review was good and funny unlike all many video's of his mostly nearing the end of last year. I didn't like them at all as they weren't funny and lacked the genuine feel, we have had a good start to the year with Tampon Tango and this review here Return to Sleepaway Camp. Didn't like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre review as sadly it wasn't funny probably due to how can you poke fun at it because you can't.

Oh I see he has finally moved into his new house and I see Jerrid is with him, that bed looks big enough for two so are they bunking together if you know what I mean. He's sitting on the bed with no socks on showing his feet, brad people don't watch the cinema snob to see your feet unless he thinks Quentin Tarantino is watching.
Jerrid after getting ploughed by brad the previous night,
You probably just had nightmares after reading that but you see I told you those gay vibes were real, wasn't making it up. He is sitting on the floor and comments that he isn't doing another floor season again as he did that before during his early years. He start's off the review with mentioning that the original director comes back and a few of the actors from the original movie. He say's that their ain't none of this showing the song scene from the second movie or any others mentioning the rest of the bad movies but this is alot of "your ass stinks".
Your ass stinks Brad
He say's that this movie is the most official sequel to the series and it's the worst one yet, I wouldn't agree with that as the worst seems to be the fourth movie which is made up of mostly stock footage from the previous films. At least this one is more recent, he rants over the credits sequence of the movie saying that they show you news clippings of the events from the first movie but he can't read it due to the shaky camera.
Classy
The then cuts to footage from the start of the movie showing kids lighting their farts on fire, he replies with classy way to start out your movie. In the opening scene you then see your main character Alan who is a bully who also gets bullied by others older than him. God he looks like he sit himself and forgot to clean himself up, just look at his shirt. Looks like he's wearing the diaper and the one who pisses his bed.
Brad then say's that he is an unlikable main character and we do not feel sorry for him, probably due to him being just as much an ass as those who bully him. He then states that he is the worst and most unlikable main character ever in a horror film ever made. Vincent Pastore appears in the movie and brad mentions this, must need work if he's in a film like this.
Sopranos is awesome and a must watch
He keeps saying that the cop is Angela but for a first time viewer you wouldn't know that but he keeps bringing it up anyway. He mentions some other actors having a cameo in this movie such as chef, he say's that scenes with Alan holding a knife are useless since we already know that Angela is the killer. If someone is watching the movie then could think that the bully who gets bullied could have possibly killed someone but he just keeps ranting.
He notices the references to the original film such as the pedio chef and more, he say's a least we don't get any of this showing a clip from the original where the chef gets burned and dies. His reaction to this is funny.
He mentions that this was Issac Hayes last released film before he died, he say's that he was mostly standing around looking sad and he would be more sensitive to the reactive mind. Yea reactive mind because he's a scientologist, thanks Brad what have you got against Scientology. People have the freedom to choose any religion they want. Earl from my name is earl is one so what's not to like, also Tom Cruise and alot more celebrities. I don't know what his stick with Scientology is but he shouldn't have one as they aren't bad just different so understand.
The camp junkie makes Alan smoke shit and when he leaves they say his name is blow job and brad say's his initials don't even spell that. He then pauses because har har har Brad Jones = BJ which mean funny.
One of the kids gets tied up and set on fire by bad cgi flames which brad comments and say's "Bad CGI killed him". It then shows his friends reaction to his death which they respond with bad acting.
Bad CGI killed him
Alan gets bullied more and in the scene where he gets shot by paint balls he say's he wish it were child's play 3 where they use real bullets by accident. If that happened then he would be dead which is a good thing, everyone knows that bride of chucky is the best out of all the movies.
The bullies throw skinned frogs at Alan and that made Brad feel sorry for him which he doesn't want to do so he say's that he wants them to be dead. Skinning frogs is just wrong and it's animal cruelty, didn't you see cannibal holocaust. He compares scenes from this to the original but mentions that it doesn't work, he say's that the difference was that Angela was likable and was innocent. He then finished saying that Alan is a bully and can't make you feel sorry for him and doesn't make sense. You can understand what he means as it isn't the same as the original. Alan is in line and people shoot spitballs at him, Brad comments saying Magic Spitball Theory. Gotta love that JFK assassination reference lol, what it's funny.
Brad then says that Alan would have been sent home due to him bullying others and actually throwing a knife at someone. He notices a scene similar to the original who someone is always helping the one getting bullied and is always there to help.
Didn't want to see brad shirtless and wearing a diaper
Jean Claude gets angry
The guy from the Sopranos dies by rats and it fades to black not showing us it, brad responds they probably spent all their budget on cameo's and bad cgi. Another guy gets killed by a hook being put into his pecker and his girlfriend drives away ripping his sh-long off. Ouch that must have hurt. His girlfriend in the car also dies by razor wire placed on the road at head height when driving.
A wooden spike gets poked at a teenager from the floor and misses, then then look through the hole like idiots and you can just guess what happens.
Yea a spike through the eye, ouch. More people start dying such as the fat black chick, Ronnie then thinks it's Angela killing people saying that she's back and say's Angela really quietly and badly I might add. Brad responds by saying "acting" which is a joke anyone can make but it was funny so it's good. People suspect that Alan is doing the killing and one of the bullies beats him with a hammer to death, brad plays music to let us know that god delivered his death.
After more people arrive at Alan's dead body Angela throws off her disguise, brad's say's that oh no Angela was the killer and the cop the entire time talking in a tone as it was predictable. When the people see her one shout's Angela loudly and long, it's really bad acting and comedic so check that part of his review out for a laugh. Brad say's that how could someone not see this coming, the cop has prosthetic'son the face, a fake beard, a voice box and someone who isn't the right build for a man never mind a cop.
He talks about the ending of the original and what will this one leave for us, he mentions M. Night Shyamalan
saying that he started out with the Sixth Sense and Unbreakable but left us with the village. Thanks brad now you don't like the village, you just don't understand the film. Probably mistaken it for porn and was disappointed.
He say's why wasn't the rest of the deaths as gory as the end death scene as they either faded to black or used bad cgi. He finishes saying that he really doesn't like this movie, he say's even after getting the old cast back and the director it isn't the proper reunion we all wished for but just a movie about a bully who cries and be's an ass all the time. Overall this review is a good and funny one so well done on this.

Video Link
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/01/29/return-to-sleepaway-camp.aspx

A word on other updates on the site

Damn hell what's up with all these Midnight Screenings, I mean stop as there are two much and I doubt people still through and watch people talking about a movie while driving home. It's not like they even take time out to talk about it, just film while raining about a movie you have just saw as it takes no effort to create.

Ninja The Mission Force Riffs: Coming February 8th!Oh shit no more, god knows who actually like ninja the mission force as it's bad. I mean real bad, as in Ghost busters 2 bad. An all new episode and a riff, please god spare us and show mercy. I never liked Ninja The Mission Force as it was mostly not funny, you can tell that they tried but overall it;'s not very good.